Clarity

11/13/26

My friend, Tam, called me to check in on me this week. As we were finishing our conversation, she said that she and Kyle had been praying every day for doors to open and for God to close doors that were not the direction I should go. I thanked her because this was a time when clarity for next steps was really sitting front and center in my mind. I was feeling confident as we talked that my next steps would be a Northside surgeon that I had met but I had several "interviews" this coming week to help with that clarity. It wasn't a few hours after that phone call that I received VERY clear direction that Northside Hospital was no longer the right choice. I was devastated and had many tears feeling like this was the direction I was supposed to go in and now that path was now becoming clear that it wasn't right. I left to go on a walk in the woods at Leita Thompson Park and to spend time praying for next steps. As I was walking, I got a nudge that I needed to explore Wellstar North Fulton Hospital for my care, an option I had not considered before. I called my friend, Jon-Paul Croom, who used to be the CEO of Wellstar Hospital North Fulton, late on a Friday afternoon and asked him about a recommendation for a breast surgeon at Wellstar and he gave a glowing recommendation for Laura Pearson, someone he had recommended to his own sister who had breast cancer. He also told me about how Wellstar has a Stat Clinic where you sit down at a table with all the doctors and team members who will be responsible for your care. At Northside, I saw the breast surgeon who gave me a document of a list of oncologists I could reach out to for the continuation of care after my surgery. How am I supposed to know who to choose? And how am I supposed to my the lead on my care from surgeon to oncologist? I loved the idea of being able to sit at the table and discuss all of my questions at once with every team member. The approach to care isn't performed in silos!  Oncology options have an impact on which surgery option you choose so how could I make a decision on surgery without talking to an oncologist first? Also, Jon-Paul told me that Wellstar has radiation procedures that can be done at the time of surgery and that are very direct to the area of concern. It's tough to think about shooting radiation so close to my heart and lungs so being able to discuss a more innovative approach to this procedure brought me comfort. In one moment, I was so deeply upset about a last minute change in the path of my care and then a conversation with Jon-Paul made me realize this was the path God had for my care. Thank you, Tam, for reminding me earlier that day that God sometimes closes doors but then He opens the right ones. And thank you to Jon-Paul for taking the time on a Friday afternoon to walk through my options at Wellstar with me. I have peace about it all.

11/14/26

Brian had planned a fun trip to Callaway Gardens earlier in the year to ride bikes through the Fantasy in Lights Christmas light show and I was excited to get away for a couple of days to have a change of scenery. At the last minute, I decided to call my longtime high school and college friend, Kim, who lives still lives in our hometown of Columbus to see if she wanted to have lunch since we would be close by at Callaway Gardens. She not only said yes but graciously invited us to have lunch at their home and to spend some time together watching football. Kim and I left the guys to do the football watching and we went out to do some shopping at some cute gift shops in Columbus. It was nice to be able to drive through the town I grew up in and see the sweet places I had made so many memories in my life. And a friend like Kim that I've known for more of my life than I haven't known her, is such a gift. She is such a woman of faith and her encouragement in my cancer diagnosis was such a blessing. 

After we left her house, we went to the hotel at Callaway Gardens to rest while we waiting for Savannah and Drew to drive down to join us for the bike ride through the lights. Savannah heard about us going and wanted to join. YES is always the answer! We were so exited to spend the time with them and also to spend time in such a beautiful start to the Christmas season. The Fantasy in Lights display is truly a highlight of the season that everyone should enjoy! 

Brian and I stayed in the hotel on property that night and as I slept, I would find myself waking up several times in the night with worry and fear. I would feel almost a rush of something yuck that would travel from my heart to my stomach and I just sometimes couldn't even breathe. This has happened several times at night over the past few days. I couldn't help but think about how when my world gets dark and still that this is when fear hits me. It reminds me that Satan, the author of fear, finds us most easily in the dark and alone places as that's when it's hardest to be strong enough to ward him off by myself. I prayed in the dark that night that God would wrap His arms around me and hold me and push Satan's fears away from me. It's a constant prayer in my days these days but it does bring me so much peace. And it also reminds me how much I need my faith community around me during this difficult time to keep me focused on Him and to keep God's light shines around me. I need to stay focused on Him in all things.

Several of my friends had sent me this sermon from Louie Giglio about faith over fear. I share it now as the Truth about fear and I pray that it will impact anyone reading this who is struggling with fear or anxiety or worry. It seemed like a timely opportunity to share these words about fear.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33